From the Desk of President Tyson...

A Message from the President:

Since the beginning of my reign as class president, I have been heavily burdened with my vision for this Campus. I believe in one Campus united under God. I believe in a wide variety of students, from provinces all across Canada, along with some from other countries like Brazil, USA, Germany, and Holland, banding together in love and unity. We are really all honorary Canadians, after all!
I believe we can put aside our differences, like height, hair color, and tongue size.
I believe we can learn to respect each others' opinions, like whether or not growing a mustache in November is really a good idea.
I believe we can look out for each other, and warn each other about not eating month old lasagna from the leftover fridge. I believe that we can put a stop to communicable diseases this way and promote better health.
I believe in settling disputes by Nerf gun wars. This is fun, and less painful and emotionally scarring than just throwing rocks, food, napkins, or even soap suds at each other.
I believe in singing "A Whole New World" from Disney's "Aladdin" at every meal, to promote class unity.
I believe in celebrating Birthdays by singing in Polish, regardless of whether it is actually someone's Birthday or whether they are Polish. If anything, people will see how talented we are because we know Polish.
I believe that everyone deserves their own pet Narwhal, or other exotic animal.
I believe that Monday basketball should be a place where everyone can discover their inner Michael Jackson....I mean Jordan.
I have a dream and you may call me a dreamer, but I hope one day you will join me and the campus can live as one. Ask not what your campus can do for you but what you can do for your campus.

The Right Honourable, His Majesty, WOLBI Student Council President Tyson Persall

From WOLBRANOS

"My name is Tyson Persall and I approve this message."